Going home...kinda?

So I am in McCarran Airport.
Just sitting in my corner of Gate D29, incidentally the only corner with an outlet. There's my electric scoping skills for you. 10 points for me.

I have Angus (my laptop) plugged in and charging, and my phone, plugged in and charging..wait hold on...I have yet to name my new phone. This is disturbing to anyone who knows me, I always without a doubt name all my electronics.
Anyone have any suggestions? It's a TMobile MDA, huge and silver.

AHHHHHH!! Some mother figure just parked her apparently illegitimate bastard of a little girl in front of me....slobber, dysentery, infections and all!
How grotesque. This is why I am not Catholic. I believe in birth control at all costs. Condoms, pills, injections...hysterectomies....anything necessary!

Now I move on to the "bee-debeep-doop-lalalal" of the frickin' plague of slot machines. How annoying. they are everywhere here. It's truley an epidemic....damn penny slots.

Perhaps it's time for Asa (my IPod) to save the day. *rummages in WAY to large carry-on*

Ahh, that's better, some nice music to calm me.

I have been thinking...why do I carry such a large purse? and why is it never big enough? I figure most of the reason is that I am almost prepared for just about ANYTHING. Example: I was in Hollister last week with a friend of mine. As she was trying on clothes, an overly jovial sales associate came over and asked if I had hair gel of some sort. I, in fact, had 3 types of gel/hairspray, bobby pins, brush, comb and elastic band. Shocked, she accepted the aerosol hair spray, and a bobby pin. Is it my goal in life to be prepared for everyone who can't be prepared for themselves?

In retrospect I remember a comic my dear friend Sally and I used to chuckle about when I travelled every five minutes when I live with her. I think it was from the strip "Pearls Before Swine", or something to that effect, and I believe the creature was a rat. So rat was travelling and he decided that it as ridiculous that the Airport Security would not allow him to carry-on his "Baggie of Goo". When I emptied my massive purse out, I realized if I removed all liquids, goos and gels....my purse is actually a bearable weight. I feel extremely unprepared though. So everyone, stranger, friend or family, must fend for themselves today. Sorry all.

As I sit in my corner listening to the Beach Boys, I realize my sacrum is in excruciating pain from the heinously patterned, thin airport uniform carpet. *Scooooch, re-adjust, shuffle....sigh*

Ohk. That's better. I wish I could just get this over with. Blarggggh.
Angus is being highly temperamental. Refusing to charge and such.

Oh dear lord. We have found our Las Vegas couple of the year. Looks like they stayed at the financial distaster that is the Hooters Hotel, only assuming that they bought all of the uniform garb they're donning proudly. Ignorant tourists.

And off to my 2 o' clock, is the coolest Russian dudes...ever. Business types...expensive suits...European sneaker things. How cute. The oldest being very well dressed for his age. Ostrich skin shoes, and Armani....wow. They're suitcases...Halliburton of course. Great huge titainium things, very elite, very attractive. Woo. A Russian passport....how very exciting.

I should leave the Russians alone. =]

Oh the Hooterific couple is yelling. Apparently Hooter's does a free Champagne breakfast...yum....mimosas.

I don't think I have anything else to say, and this is far too long. Hope you enjoyed.