Old Witchcraft Secrets - make your wildest dreams come true!

Okay, so this does not happen very often any more, because I am so jaded and so on regarding all things computer (Jewish personals? That's so last week!), but today I got a spam e-mail with a subject line that had me cackling for minutes. And so I must share with you the e-mail in it's entirety:

Re: Glass Sex Toys are an Acceptable Gift for any Occasion
"In theory, our voice boxes would become non functional in a few shall not remain supperless; and he made a meal of him.
Areas of our lives that are considered sacred and should be leaves his house at 7:40 every morning to make the commute"

And when the message downloaded (I know! I don't usually!) it was actually and ad for hand blown (hee hee!!!) glass dildos. The funny thing is that in the ad they actually try to sell it to you as an Art Object as well as a sex toy. As if you're going to be so impressed with the artistry that after you played with it, you'll just rinse it off and display it on the mantle or something.

Later, I got another spam that cracks me up to no end. This time, it's not the idea, but the acctual message that's so silly. See for yourself:

"Old Witchcraft Secrets - make your wildest dreams come true

It's NOT your fault that your spells and rituals aren't turning out like you want... YET.

The truth is... you've been misled by self-proclaimed powerful wizards and witches...
and the truth is that 99% of these 'professionals' are DEAD WRONG!

In fact, a lot of what they say will actually diminish your powers.

They don't want you to know the right way to cast spells because if you did, you'd never need
them again and they would lose their power!

You cannot invent 'new' spells like you cannot invent a new tree. Everything is old. But
not everything is known in the right way.

Get 3 Spells just for visiting our site!

As you know, many witches and wizards are FURIOUS about this. Why?

Because it reveals the true forgotten secrets of witchcraft. Secrets more powerful than what they
can do through their very expensive services...

Soon, everybody will be able to do this at home,
more effectively, cheaper and faster....

You've seen some ridiculous prices on the internet for
getting a spell done. It's obvious they are
getting rich off of normal people and their problems...

Once you know their secrets, you won't need to give them your money!

I've personally tested this information, and some of the
old forgotten stuff is mind blowing: it's accurate, effective
and quite easy to do.


So, yeah. And the "company" that is message came from? Is in Austria.

When I first started reading the message, I thought of all kinds of funny things to say, but they'd all fallen out of my head by the time I finished.

And, I'm going to leave it at that. I've got nothing.

~ SCJ